Everybody lies, given a certain situation or emotional condition. Everyone faces that moment where the decision needs to be made: to lie or come clean. Whether it is out of full awareness, or a subconscious reaction, seemingly harmless or unintentional; lying happens, despite our greatest attempts to avoid it.
There are 3 main reasons attributed to lying, such as to protect self image and save face, to harm others, and the most common one – fear.
Yes, fear – it’s paralyzing, crippling, makes your head fuzzy, increases your heartbeat, robs you of peace, betrays trust, harms relationships…and yet you do it.
But why? Why do you lose control? Why can’t you just say no to lying, straight to the face? Why do allow fear to paralyze you?
Maybe it’s because you foolishly view yourself as powerless little thing, that has no other choice. Maybe you feel it’s for the best, to protect those around, and suffer the consequences alone. Maybe you are just not audacious enough to stand up and speak the truth, and set yourself free - because just as there are prices to pay for lying, there are consequences to the truth.
Lying is a psychological adaptation. According to human reasoning, deception is inherent in human kind, as a way to resolve life’s persistent problems. In fact, most of the lies people tell are unintentional. When the truth seems so difficult to share, lying looks like the easiest, immediate way out – but in fact, it really isn’t.
While it is true, some people lie intentionally to mislead others, to harm them, or get something they want, the majority of us lie as and when the situation ‘requires.’ Most people lie to protect themselves, and those involved.
Think about it – when fear grips your heart, you want to tell the truth but you are afraid of the consequences, that psychological adaptation just ‘helps’ you get out of that sticky situation for the moment. Yes, it causes you terrible stress – you can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you can’t get it out of your mind – the fear binds itself like weighty chain around your neck and feet as you tread the soaking sands of the sea.
You somehow know you can’t go on like that forever. You have to let it out soon, and you really know you want to and will do it. But when? That’s exactly when you allow yourself to lie – to buy time till you dare to tell the truth. But often times, the truth is discovered even before you can gather enough guts for honesty. In fact, you know this will happen. But when your fear gets a hold on you, you are no more than a puppet playing to its whims.
Talk about honesty – assuming you are bold enough to speak the truth forthright, are you ready to face the consequences? What if there are threats? What if someone involved cannot accept it? Will your truth lead to harm for others? Are you willing to face the music or wish for an easy way out to end all of your problems – wishing you weren’t alive? Do you have enough faith and strength to stand firm regardless of what happens after you speak the truth? When people are not sure, that’s when they lie.
People ask for the truth, but when you tell them, they may not be prepared to accept it. Sometimes, the truth may hurt really bad. When they know it, can they really go on being how they were before? Won’t the new piece of revelation play in their mind over and over again – causing anger, disappointment, pain, hopelessness, distrust?
It is said the truth sets you free. True, it sets the liar free once and for all, without having to look for a curtain to hide every time the light shines. But there will come days when you wished you never knew, when you wonder if you would have been happier not knowing in the first place. Times when you understand it was not easy for someone to conceal the truth from you, moments when you realize accepting the truth is as grueling as having enough guts to say it out loud. And that requires a lot of time and healing for all involved.
Lying is wrong. There’s no excuse to it. There are things in life we wish never happened; things we hope didn’t have to be that way. But the truth is, honesty takes a lot more courage than most of us have in our hearts – be it to speak out, or to accept.
There will always be a Goliath standing in the way, one that will make you choose whether to lie or tell the truth – and that giant is very real. Only the love of God can cast out fear, to fear the Lord only, much more than mere mortals, greater than the physical consequences.
There are 3 main reasons attributed to lying, such as to protect self image and save face, to harm others, and the most common one – fear.
Yes, fear – it’s paralyzing, crippling, makes your head fuzzy, increases your heartbeat, robs you of peace, betrays trust, harms relationships…and yet you do it.
But why? Why do you lose control? Why can’t you just say no to lying, straight to the face? Why do allow fear to paralyze you?
Maybe it’s because you foolishly view yourself as powerless little thing, that has no other choice. Maybe you feel it’s for the best, to protect those around, and suffer the consequences alone. Maybe you are just not audacious enough to stand up and speak the truth, and set yourself free - because just as there are prices to pay for lying, there are consequences to the truth.
Lying is a psychological adaptation. According to human reasoning, deception is inherent in human kind, as a way to resolve life’s persistent problems. In fact, most of the lies people tell are unintentional. When the truth seems so difficult to share, lying looks like the easiest, immediate way out – but in fact, it really isn’t.
While it is true, some people lie intentionally to mislead others, to harm them, or get something they want, the majority of us lie as and when the situation ‘requires.’ Most people lie to protect themselves, and those involved.
Think about it – when fear grips your heart, you want to tell the truth but you are afraid of the consequences, that psychological adaptation just ‘helps’ you get out of that sticky situation for the moment. Yes, it causes you terrible stress – you can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you can’t get it out of your mind – the fear binds itself like weighty chain around your neck and feet as you tread the soaking sands of the sea.
You somehow know you can’t go on like that forever. You have to let it out soon, and you really know you want to and will do it. But when? That’s exactly when you allow yourself to lie – to buy time till you dare to tell the truth. But often times, the truth is discovered even before you can gather enough guts for honesty. In fact, you know this will happen. But when your fear gets a hold on you, you are no more than a puppet playing to its whims.
Talk about honesty – assuming you are bold enough to speak the truth forthright, are you ready to face the consequences? What if there are threats? What if someone involved cannot accept it? Will your truth lead to harm for others? Are you willing to face the music or wish for an easy way out to end all of your problems – wishing you weren’t alive? Do you have enough faith and strength to stand firm regardless of what happens after you speak the truth? When people are not sure, that’s when they lie.
People ask for the truth, but when you tell them, they may not be prepared to accept it. Sometimes, the truth may hurt really bad. When they know it, can they really go on being how they were before? Won’t the new piece of revelation play in their mind over and over again – causing anger, disappointment, pain, hopelessness, distrust?
It is said the truth sets you free. True, it sets the liar free once and for all, without having to look for a curtain to hide every time the light shines. But there will come days when you wished you never knew, when you wonder if you would have been happier not knowing in the first place. Times when you understand it was not easy for someone to conceal the truth from you, moments when you realize accepting the truth is as grueling as having enough guts to say it out loud. And that requires a lot of time and healing for all involved.
Lying is wrong. There’s no excuse to it. There are things in life we wish never happened; things we hope didn’t have to be that way. But the truth is, honesty takes a lot more courage than most of us have in our hearts – be it to speak out, or to accept.
There will always be a Goliath standing in the way, one that will make you choose whether to lie or tell the truth – and that giant is very real. Only the love of God can cast out fear, to fear the Lord only, much more than mere mortals, greater than the physical consequences.
Only the love and strength of God can give you the wisdom, and the stone that’s just the right size to hit that giant to the ground - no matter what a pygmy you are in the light of the whole situation. And until the heart is fully immersed with that Love to embrace wholeness, there is much work to be done in your life…and that is the truth.
May the good Lord forgive us for all our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us.
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